Journal-03

7/28/03 Ren faire season is over for me this year, however I hope to be more prepared for next year. I came home to sad news on Sunday, my Uncle Cruie Corpe, son of Inga Corpe has passed away by way of Cancer. I am planning on putting a tribute on my journal, he was a man of great importance to me.

7/24/03 I have recently signed up for a computer class up at SMC. Suppose to be overly easy yet I need it for both of the degrees I am shooting for so I will take it. I got Melissa a newt for her birthday which is this month. I finally finished glueing the fringe to my lamp I am making so it is nearly finished , just have to correct a seem on the back. Tommorrow will be going back up to Dowagiac to see James, then this weekend we are going back up to Silverleaf for the last weekend, with Nate, he is a Rennie virgin. Also, I have begun to read Anais Nin's The Seduction of the Minotaur. And I am thinking it is almost time for another mental vaction ing but this time something soothing to the senses, a more simple way of life I guess.

7/16/03 Sad, and drinking. The world can go to hell.

7/15/03 With the weekend well over and I have had time to analize, I have come to the conclusion that I am standing at the ending of one thing and the begining of another, the one that is just beginning is full of promise and excitation, the one that is ending is only left with the remnent feelings of bitterness and doubt, I am probably going to seperate myself from the ending one since it can in no way cause me joy and move toward the beginning and live the old adage , a triumph of hope over experiance. Also, I have finally started throwing knives and am trying Port for the first time as we speak. Also got two new books, The Loving Dominant, and Vittorio. Tomorrow is PNO, hope to see everyone there.

7/14/03 Well, it's Monday, Mom and Dad have finally moved in and I have just finished watching Edward Scissorhands for the first time, found it strangely erotic. Anyways, I guess I am happy, if anyone wondered. I have alot to do but for once I can actually say I have something to show for it. I don't know I guess we will see, but it looks like I might be investing more in long term then in burn out beginnings from now on. No, it probably won't make sense for a long while, good night.

5/22/03 Two more fishies one is an almost all black angel that I am thinking should be called Copernicus and an angel catfish Decartes. I got to hang out with Melissa and Robin today. I also finished an online class on check kiting, yay! So no, I didn't get much done but it was fun, I should get some sleep now, Fridays kill.

5/21/03 Ok, let's see, I got a new member to my fish family today, everyone welcome Fredrich Von Nietzche, a decent little Bala Shark. I spent the weekend with James, and we did Relay for Life, (didn't get counted unfortunatly) I also saw The House Of Yes, I loved it, as well as The Wall, which depressed me altogether, but I am better now. Over the weekend I should be at the Detroit Electronic Music Festival. I signed up for my 401 k today, that is fun. I got to play on the swings a bit today,got dizzy.

5/9/03 I blacked out today, but funny enough kept working as though nothing were happening. Then after work, I went out with Melissa to Victoria Secret, and then to Kirklands for Mothers Day gifts. And I also ended up at Barnsy and I got a Spanish English Dictionary. Also did some looking for some Gnostic writings. Didn't find what I was looking for, but had some comic relief. Then I was hungry so we ended up at Hacienda's, where I got to be in the middle of my first bar fight. Which was fun. Anyway, I am thinking about getting a full time night job as well. Anyway nightie.

5/8/03 First thing this morning, I pulled a rune and it was Odin, the hand of God, which kind of explains some of my day, you know the part where I felt like I was getting back slapped by something out of my control. I am sliding into Ketosis now which is good, slow but good. ( helps when you actually stick to a diet.)Anyway, I am not going to trouble you with details from today, no need to trumatize you with that. However, some of the other things that occured to me might be of importance. One, if I should no longer work at the bank, I should try to get a job at third shift, and go to school in the day. Two, I hate sleeping alone, (this is a first for me). Three I put too much into what others think and say, one of my greatest goals is to be self-suffient, (even to the point of godhead true) but maybe I should work on that more. Also, I lead a very complex life, I would like to simplize it, but it is like juggling knives, do you really want to let everything fall? Also, Mom is upset with me, I guess, but I am sick of pettiness, I march on.

5/7/03 I have decided to try to finish my associates at Southwestern, and at the same time take some of my prerequisites and non-sequential classes for nursing. I saw The Hours with Melissa yesterday and also ended up at the Bargin Books where I bought my first book "Cuentos Del Pobre Diablo" unfortuanatley they didn't have the Spanish -English dictionary I am looking for, but soon. So on the agenda for the day is I plan to read the Grimm's version of Hansel and Gretal and start working on a project under that theme, should prove interesting. Also, I am going to look into alternate Summer classes at SMC since the computer class isn't going to pan out because of the time change. I am also thinking to make up a kind of time buget for daily things and memorize the notes to Joyful Joyful for the guitar. In the mean time I am also trying to get my body to slide into a state of Ketosis, proving more difficult this time. Anyway, I should be heading out for work.

5/5/03 Ok, So here is what has been up at least in the last week or so. I am thinking about going to IUSB if I can fit it in.I am thinking of ways to pick up Spanish without taking a class or somthing like that. I am also thinking it is about time I make a kind ofManifesto of my religion, it would either be genious or Satire. Let's see, I have been working more than god these days, but less than my Mom, and I spent the week and weekend with James, we visited Monica and spent a night with Melissa too. We are thinking about doing a study into Theraputic Touch as well, I studied it for a while but fell out of the practice, now if I could only get those books back from Robin. Anyway, there are more updates around here, good luck finding them.

5/10/03 Well, a few things have changed since I last wrote. I am postponing moving to Grand Blanc for a little while and persuing an associates in nursing instead. I might have to put my dog down, this of course breaks my heart. I am trying to simplify my life a bit. Getting rid of a lot, wearing men's clothes.... ( I might actually write later on why I have found this to make more sense. no, It is not just for my jolly's , though that is there too.) Eh, I am going to have to over haul this site sometime, but this is a good primer.

1/26/03 I am confused. I have been thinking alot and it seems the more I think about things, the more lost I become. And it is terrible because it effects other people so much. I am working on my five year goal, and I realized I want so much more. I hope one day to be as strong as I demand myself to be.

2/10/03 Well, a few things have changed since I last wrote. I am postponing moving to Grand Blanc for a little while and persuing an associates in nursing instead. I might have to put my dog down, this of course breaks my heart. I am trying to simplify my life a bit. Getting rid of a lot, wearing men's clothes.... ( I might actually write later on why I have found this to make more sense. no, It is not just for my jolly's , though that is there too.) Eh, I am going to have to over haul this site sometime, but this is a good primer.

7/19/03 About to be late for work I realize I am getting tired of always doing a thousand things, in a way I want to re- realize what home is I guess and keep those around me that make home, sounds sentimental but in my life it is more revolutionary.

5/5/03 It is the end of a long day, and I am alone, which is incredibly rare. In a way I hate being alone, like I have fallen too far out of the habit and don't even know how to react any more. And in other ways I miss it every now and then, I guess I should find a medium but that never has worked for me. But I do need time to think, I feel so disatisfied sometimes and plan a million ways to fix it but that is the thing it is me I am trying to fix. And can somthing that is broken fix itself, well I guess it can if it has a god complex, which in that case I am in luck, I am also rabbling, maybe I should get some sleep. Maybe you should too... Make you a deal, I will walk away from the computer and get the long awaited sleep, if you do the same... k? Well, either way, good bye for now.