11/7/04 I just caught up on sleep at the library,( helps that there is a silent floor). And I should really be doind my homework but a few minutes won't hurt. I got my hair trimmed today and am setting up a girls get together on Tues. We will see if it work out. (looking up, I just saw a jappanese guy with nifty dimples, hehe) Anyway, I have been entirely bitchy the last two days and I apologize if anyone got caught in the crossfire.  I also came to the decision that as far as creating people goes, (I really need to come up with another term for it) I will not hold back anymore. ( I know I am jumping around on topics like a possessed bunny rabbit but oh, well.) Anyway, Joe and I hung out last night with Janicki and two of his friends, it was actually pretty fun , we saw the Grudge, and I am terrible at scary movies I mean that including Finding Nemo, but poor Joe his hand still had red spots on it an hour after the movie. Anyway, I get paid today so hopefully I won't be a broke ass. And I really need to look at homework now so, sorry about my ADD. Toodles.   11/03/04 Happy 20th Joe! (My widdle boy id gwowing up soooo fast...hehehe) . Let's see, I tried to organize some of the past logs and journal, at least to the point of having all of the right years together. However don't expect chronological from me. Anyway, today I have 2 exams that I am really not ready for, and I have to work on Spanish assignments like now but I have time for a quick update. I am thinking about begining a pno again, I haven't heard anything about one in a while so I figure it is about time. I am also thinking of having philosophic dinners, yeah it is alot more fun than it sounds and more lax as well. But then again I am also thinking of how I am going to throw a gala b-day event for Riley ( my puppy) so we'll see what actually gets done. It looks like Bush is in office again and my belief in set belts wishes it could be extended to new lengths. Eh, I guess either way we are going to hell.   11/1/04 Happy New Year everyone! (It is the Celtic New Year) I already made my resolutions and should post them in the next few days. As anyone can tell I am trying to update the site while a little hung over, sorry, but hey it sucks for me too. And today I am having doubts, or maybe just temptations. I was thinking maybe I should get a better job, get an appartment,  a car that works reliably, a significant other, a personal trainer, and write the book I have always been trying to get around to. Sound cheesy? It gets worse. I mean I think it might be nice to come home to something that feels like home,  Riley running to meet me at the door, people who love me chattering on over dinner about life, philosophy, politics, and their love of pez dispensers. (hey whatever does it for ya) Then there is that warm and fuzzy fantasy of cuddling up on the couch in jammies with someone, watching like 70's b horror from Italy, curling my fingers in their hair..... ( Have I made you sick yet?) The crazy thing is out there there are so many other people who have the actualization of that fantasy that they find it disappointing. They seldom remember not everyone has it. But me now slipping into a more recognizable phase of me, I recognize that , oh my god in 5-10 years I am going to be a freaking soccor mom! Does that mean I am going to have to give up the corsets and handcuffs? Makes ya wonder. Ok, I am going to stop wasting everyone's time with my adlebrained fantasies now........( didn't mean I would stop fantasizing though..... ohhhhhhhh I would have mini gardens in each window.....)   10/21/04 Very busy today, went to class already, go to work later, heading to the gym in about an hour or two, gonna study til then thinking of going hiking a Bonniville I don't know it is kinda cold, and working out a kind of ritual for All hollows eve. Well, at least life isn't boring. I just took an IQ test and scored a 127, wonder what that means. Starting to work on x-mas gifts. ( I broke ass) And am starting up juice fast today. Yesterday, I decided to boycott Wal-mart cause soon they are going to have a monopoly and all of the small buisnesses that produce more jobs will go out of buisness (yes, I meant to spell it that way). So I haven't marked Mejier off yet because they are not a national chain, however I am restricting my puying from them to only after other places are closed. And anyway, I would rather have a choice of places to go. And so that is my crusade for the day. Chau.     10/10/04 I am not even going to bother saying that today was a bad day, cause I don't want to even start that tangent. However, today has been educational in that it has shown me my limitations and possible ways of working a way out of them. I only need to claim back what I give up all too easily. Time, I don't think I will ever be able to really just relax, it's just not going to happen, but to have the time to do that which needs be done, I might be able to make an allowance. I need disipline.  Also, minor complaint , I have not seen a face all day that wasn't empty, now why is that? Makes me want to do poetry again.